[for john/tyl au stuff]

[averagemedium]

[Ryan still can't shake the feeling that nobody stopped him from leaving the school because they knew he'd be back.

It's been a long time since then, though. Since his return, he's continued working on his voice, and finally got it back (though he's still getting used to that). They've let him take a sort of support role at the school, doing filing and paperwork and other small secretarial duties, helping out in the library when there wasn't any of that to be done. He's been taking college courses online, aiming for his teaching qualifications. And, more recently, he's been adamantly ignoring what he thinks are faint whispers of others' thoughts; he just got so used to it, he tells himself, it's just that being here reminds him. Makes him think he's hearing what he used to.

He still wears headphones almost all the time to block out those occasional, unnerving moments, but he hears them over the music even when they're barely audible. It distracts him from other things more than what he's trying to ignore, and for half the day he misses the sudden tension, the furtive looks in his direction and the quiet mutters. They haven't given him any errands in the library; when he offers, they're too quick to tell him he's needed there. Someone offers to bring him lunch so he doesn't have to leave. By the time one of the professors, one who'd taught him, takes him aside... well, he's caught on by then that something is weird.

They tell him with as much caution as possible, but there's no way that telling him who else has shown back up could have gone well.

Ryan has no idea how to react to it, what to do-- leaves the library feeling numb and aimless, unsure if he should seek him out. If it would be better than abruptly running into him sometime. If he'll be sought out instead, though he doesn't know if anyone told John that he's here. Would he even recognize John in the first place?

In the end, he finds himself outside without really knowing how he got there, an unlit cigarette already held between his fingers. The wind's chilly, and he's quick to light up; he wandered out without a jacket, but he doesn't want to bother going back in. He'll finish this first.

(He barely touches it.)

Ryan ends up just leaning against the railing and staring out across the grounds, cigarette burning shorter in his hand, and it's almost hard to say whether he looks like a ghost or someone haunted.]