aulteration | sangcheng zone

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. Only saying that it's-- easy to miss chances, when we have them.

[They didn't make up before Nie Mingjue was killed, after all. There was no second chance later. Jiang Cheng, he thinks, is lucky in that way.]

But as you said, the two of us were together in one of those places-- I'm not as concerned with his state. It's yours.

[It's whether he'll come to regret it if he doesn't take what he's been given, whether he'll always remember it, like Huaisang does.]

I'm fine.

[The compassion shouldn't sting like it does, but Jiang Cheng's biggest flaw is probably his pride. He is very obviously in A State, and yet... if Huaisang can see him this way...

Who else could?]

You didn't worry any other time. Why does it matter now?

I know.

[He's fine in the way that any of them are, maybe. Huaisang isn't sure how many people of their age, here, could honestly say so.

The question, though, just gets a wave of his hand.]

We were both occupied, before-- would it matter whether I worried or not until now?

[There was certainly no way to say so.]

I don't think you really need to ask. You aren't foolish, Jiang Cheng.

[Jiang Cheng swallows, feeling as if his throat is dry. He is fine in the same way the rest of them are fine.

In a way he hopes Jin Ling never has to be "fine."

Slowly, he turns his head enough to glance at Huaisang.]

What happened to all of you, Nie Huaisang?

Jin Ling has explained, hasn't he-- ah, though he just knows the first one, he wasn't awake for the second...

[He exhales a slow, measured sigh.]

The second game, we were pulled into almost immediately after the first, along with others from similar places. In that one, there were no monsters. We were split into three groups and told only one was to be left standing. Things proceeded roughly as one might expect-- deaths each week.

[Both of Jiang Cheng's brows furrow.] He heard what happened... supposedly from Wei Wuxian. [Which just makes! Jiang Cheng! frown!

But he listens to Huaisang's recount anyway.]

That's... [He hates it, honestly.] It sounds like what happened to us with the Wens, but... worse.

Definitely worse. There were a few among us tasked with ensuring death continued to happen-- if none died, we all would.

Even so, there were an alarming number who kept insisting that it was terrible to act and justice must be served on anyone who did-- not that anything done there could be considered 'just' at all.

[Jiang Cheng wonders if he would have been one of the handful insisting on justice against those doing such a thing. With Huaisang here, he wonders if Mingjue would have been standing with him, too.]

And Wei Wuxian?

[Mingjue would have disliked what Huaisang did, he's sure. Maybe he'd have been one of them. He's not sure he wants to know for certain.

Jiang Cheng might have been too, but-- Huaisang thinks he's more likely to understand the lengths some will go to.]

If you want his opinions, isn't it better to ask him-? But I think he understood, you know. The position they were in, that we all were in. It wasn't as though most who killed even wanted to.

[How very like Huaisang to dodge. Jiang Cheng frowns, like he's aware of this, but has no opportunity to call it out without disrupting their evening substantially.

He'd may have well just leave, if he did that.]

So you followed orders.

Me--? Oh, no, no, I wasn't one of them!

[He quickly raises his hands, shaking his head.]

Really, Jiang Cheng! How well do you think I could manage it, anyway--

[His eyes narrow slightly.] I meant you all as a whole. [But now that Huaisang has jumped to the defense, Jiang Cheng isn't so sure.]

You've changed Nie Huaisang. Say what you want, but I know you aren't foolish either. Not as much as you let on.

Well, I still wouldn't say we all did, as a whole. From what I understand, we were in some danger of being unable to escape, with the number of us who rejected it all...

[Is he still side-eyeing all the protags and shounens... yes he is.]

And we've all changed, haven't we, in some way? No one lives the lives that we have and comes out unscathed.

[Boy, if anyone knows that, it's Jiang Cheng. But he's real busy feeling sorry for himself. Well, he's had his tantrum, and he's slightly better--no, he's ready to start becoming better.

Maybe.]

But you did escape, in the end.

Eventually. Between both of those places, it was at least three months-! Once everything settles I'm taking two weeks or so to myself, I really am, I'll insist I'm horribly ill if I must.

[He came home and was immediately busy... Nie Huaisang wants a vacation.

It's unlikely that he can have it, but he still wants one.]

[Surprisingly, Jiang Cheng's irritation and stiff wall sort of lowers slightly. In a way, he's almost jealous. How nice must it be to have the ability to give yourself a vacation.]

So I should expect not to see, or hear from you for two weeks after this.

It'll be what's expected of me anyway, isn't it?

[He knows, though, he probably can't indulge that any longer. Not if he's going to mend the reputation he purposely built, not if he means to get anything done in the future.]

Perhaps at least two days, if it seems anyone might chase me down for disappearing so long.

[The look on his face perhaps softens briefly, but he turns his head away to distantly look out over the water.]

Two days wouldn't be long enough.

It really wouldn't, but one takes what they can get in times such as these.

[Better than nothing. And then, lighter:]

Maybe you should take some time to yourself as well?

[Already, he's shaking his head dismissively. Maybe not looking back at Huaisang just emphasizes the rejection.]

I can't. There is too much I'm needed for here. [A pause.] I won't.

You're sure I can't talk you out of it at all? Have you changed in that way as well, Jiang Cheng?

[His tone remains idle, as he sips from his cup and fans himself.]

Well, I suppose getting you to drink with me is already close to old times...

[There's a lot he can fuss about immediately, but instead he doesn't say anything for a long stretch of time. The croaking noises of the pier drown out the silence, at least.]

We can't ever go back to those days. There isn't any point in trying. Nothing will ever be like it was before.

Of course it won't be.

[A little huff of a sigh, another drink. Already he's gone past what he intended to have, but-- it doesn't feel that bad.]

That doesn't mean I can't think of them fondly.

['That I can't think of us fondly,' back when everything was so much easier.]

[The huffy sigh makes him finally glance over at Huaisang. He wants, for some masochistic reason, to keep falling down the rabbit hole of cynicism, but--

The corners of his lips twitch just slightly without rising.]

...Are you pouting?

I'm sure you'd say it would be unbecoming of a Sect Leader to pout, or something along those lines.

[Another tiny huff. Maybe he is.]

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