[It's only half a question, one he shortly follows up with:]
Has he said he wants nothing to do with you? I really could have sworn he went in this direction, after we all left the Burial Mounds that time, but-- ah, maybe I didn't look properly?
[Despite not looking back at Huaisang yet, his eyes narrow considerably. The irritation cracks for a second or two--no, he doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't want to think about Wei Wuxian still being so important to him, then and now--and again he frowns hard.]
I didn't realize your offer to drink was just a way for you to chastise me about Wei Wuxian. Did he really sweet-talk you so well in whatever place the two of you were kept?
[He's still pouting, essentially, with his head turned away and his lips drawn down. He looks very much like the usual Jiang Cheng, so Huaisang at least should know this isn't some kind of dimensional trick.
He thinks that his family spent most of their time talking about Wei Wuxian in some way. He wants so badly to say this to Huaisang, as bitterly as he feels it... and yet.]
[The compassion shouldn't sting like it does, but Jiang Cheng's biggest flaw is probably his pride. He is very obviously in A State, and yet... if Huaisang can see him this way...
Who else could?]
You didn't worry any other time. Why does it matter now?
Jin Ling has explained, hasn't he-- ah, though he just knows the first one, he wasn't awake for the second...
[He exhales a slow, measured sigh.]
The second game, we were pulled into almost immediately after the first, along with others from similar places. In that one, there were no monsters. We were split into three groups and told only one was to be left standing. Things proceeded roughly as one might expect-- deaths each week.
Definitely worse. There were a few among us tasked with ensuring death continued to happen-- if none died, we all would.
Even so, there were an alarming number who kept insisting that it was terrible to act and justice must be served on anyone who did-- not that anything done there could be considered 'just' at all.
[Jiang Cheng wonders if he would have been one of the handful insisting on justice against those doing such a thing. With Huaisang here, he wonders if Mingjue would have been standing with him, too.]
[Mingjue would have disliked what Huaisang did, he's sure. Maybe he'd have been one of them. He's not sure he wants to know for certain.
Jiang Cheng might have been too, but-- Huaisang thinks he's more likely to understand the lengths some will go to.]
If you want his opinions, isn't it better to ask him-? But I think he understood, you know. The position they were in, that we all were in. It wasn't as though most who killed even wanted to.
[How very like Huaisang to dodge. Jiang Cheng frowns, like he's aware of this, but has no opportunity to call it out without disrupting their evening substantially.
Well, I still wouldn't say we all did, as a whole. From what I understand, we were in some danger of being unable to escape, with the number of us who rejected it all...
[Is he still side-eyeing all the protags and shounens... yes he is.]
And we've all changed, haven't we, in some way? No one lives the lives that we have and comes out unscathed.
[Boy, if anyone knows that, it's Jiang Cheng. But he's real busy feeling sorry for himself. Well, he's had his tantrum, and he's slightly better--no, he's ready to start becoming better.
Eventually. Between both of those places, it was at least three months-! Once everything settles I'm taking two weeks or so to myself, I really am, I'll insist I'm horribly ill if I must.
[He came home and was immediately busy... Nie Huaisang wants a vacation.
It's unlikely that he can have it, but he still wants one.]
[Surprisingly, Jiang Cheng's irritation and stiff wall sort of lowers slightly. In a way, he's almost jealous. How nice must it be to have the ability to give yourself a vacation.]
So I should expect not to see, or hear from you for two weeks after this.
[He knows, though, he probably can't indulge that any longer. Not if he's going to mend the reputation he purposely built, not if he means to get anything done in the future.]
Perhaps at least two days, if it seems anyone might chase me down for disappearing so long.
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[He knows how these things go.]
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The silhouette of Jiang Cheng's face pinches visibly, but he doesn't say anything. Since, like, his silence says a whole lot.]
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Huaisang sighs, slowly, taking his cup in hand once more.]
You can do as you like, Jiang Cheng, your family matters aren't mine to speak on-- but at the very least, he's alive.
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Right.]
He doesn't want anything to do with me, Nie Huaisang. In that way, it's better. I would probably kill him otherwise. And he'd deserve it.
I was so sure I fucking tagged this
[It's only half a question, one he shortly follows up with:]
Has he said he wants nothing to do with you? I really could have sworn he went in this direction, after we all left the Burial Mounds that time, but-- ah, maybe I didn't look properly?
no sangchengs for you
I didn't realize your offer to drink was just a way for you to chastise me about Wei Wuxian. Did he really sweet-talk you so well in whatever place the two of you were kept?
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[They're just drinking, and talking, and these things come up sometimes? He hums, sipping at his cup.]
It's hardly chastising to ask a few questions, Jiang Cheng. I'm not accusing you of anything.
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He thinks that his family spent most of their time talking about Wei Wuxian in some way. He wants so badly to say this to Huaisang, as bitterly as he feels it... and yet.]
Are you trying to convince me to make amends?
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[They didn't make up before Nie Mingjue was killed, after all. There was no second chance later. Jiang Cheng, he thinks, is lucky in that way.]
But as you said, the two of us were together in one of those places-- I'm not as concerned with his state. It's yours.
[It's whether he'll come to regret it if he doesn't take what he's been given, whether he'll always remember it, like Huaisang does.]
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[The compassion shouldn't sting like it does, but Jiang Cheng's biggest flaw is probably his pride. He is very obviously in A State, and yet... if Huaisang can see him this way...
Who else could?]
You didn't worry any other time. Why does it matter now?
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[He's fine in the way that any of them are, maybe. Huaisang isn't sure how many people of their age, here, could honestly say so.
The question, though, just gets a wave of his hand.]
We were both occupied, before-- would it matter whether I worried or not until now?
[There was certainly no way to say so.]
I don't think you really need to ask. You aren't foolish, Jiang Cheng.
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In a way he hopes Jin Ling never has to be "fine."
Slowly, he turns his head enough to glance at Huaisang.]
What happened to all of you, Nie Huaisang?
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[He exhales a slow, measured sigh.]
The second game, we were pulled into almost immediately after the first, along with others from similar places. In that one, there were no monsters. We were split into three groups and told only one was to be left standing. Things proceeded roughly as one might expect-- deaths each week.
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But he listens to Huaisang's recount anyway.]
That's... [He hates it, honestly.] It sounds like what happened to us with the Wens, but... worse.
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Even so, there were an alarming number who kept insisting that it was terrible to act and justice must be served on anyone who did-- not that anything done there could be considered 'just' at all.
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And Wei Wuxian?
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Jiang Cheng might have been too, but-- Huaisang thinks he's more likely to understand the lengths some will go to.]
If you want his opinions, isn't it better to ask him-? But I think he understood, you know. The position they were in, that we all were in. It wasn't as though most who killed even wanted to.
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He'd may have well just leave, if he did that.]
So you followed orders.
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[He quickly raises his hands, shaking his head.]
Really, Jiang Cheng! How well do you think I could manage it, anyway--
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You've changed Nie Huaisang. Say what you want, but I know you aren't foolish either. Not as much as you let on.
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[Is he still side-eyeing all the protags and shounens... yes he is.]
And we've all changed, haven't we, in some way? No one lives the lives that we have and comes out unscathed.
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Maybe.]
But you did escape, in the end.
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[He came home and was immediately busy... Nie Huaisang wants a vacation.
It's unlikely that he can have it, but he still wants one.]
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So I should expect not to see, or hear from you for two weeks after this.
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[He knows, though, he probably can't indulge that any longer. Not if he's going to mend the reputation he purposely built, not if he means to get anything done in the future.]
Perhaps at least two days, if it seems anyone might chase me down for disappearing so long.
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https://youtu.be/yi1Ef5cTNks a song for this moment for huaisang
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